What sight ,smell, sound and feeling that stands out from your childhood memory?


In my chilhood memory i felt alone, my mom was never with me ,she came to America when I was 9 ,but before that she never really lived with me ,I lived with my grandparents .Till today sometimes even though I live with my mom now i feel alone ,memories come surrounding my mind and i remember all the things i had to pass without her,the feeling i had to share with her but i couldn't,all the beautiful things i saw ,the music i heard ,all the things she missed.Today my relationship with mom is not really good,i dont know why ,but there is something inside me that keeps blaming her,sometimes i can't forgive her ,and sometimes i can't forgive myself because i always blame her.I know that wasn't really what happened ,she was trying to help me somehow ,she loved me.Memories always come to my mimd that everything was her fault,but maybe i'm the one to blame .Such a suffering i passed made me strong,and i consider myself mature,at least more than every girl i know that are about my age.